someone so small

He whispered softly 

As I stopped listening 

Hoping to be forgiven 

For the hearts I have been breaking 

I’m still gracefully tracing 

My fingers over all the what-ifs and theories

The way they used to trace over skin.

And I’m still lacing up my old ballet flats 

To lose myself 

To the dance. The song. The cry welling inside of me. 

Until I can feel without running and hiding and pretending

My heart isn’t this big 

And your heart isn’t this big–

When we both know it is 

It is an ocean and I am swimming 

To the darkest depths 

Without a flashlight. 

I am floating in the center 

Without a life vest. 

Somehow it doesn’t scare me 

To be this scared. 

Where I’m close enough to hear your heart 

Beat in your chest & 

Feel the heat from your breath 

I am living - 

I am dying 

To be seen for the first time. 

Please see me for the first time. 

I am dying 

For someone to take a chance

On someone who feels it all 

On someone so small